A WHOLE YEAR!

I can't believe this year has flown by without one blog entry!

Some highlights of this year:

• My husband founded a church. I help when I can, specifically on the piano/keyboard. I work a full time job so my honey can be a pastor, even though it currently is not a paid position.
• The boys are growing up. One is entering Kindergarten and the other second grade. School starts tomorrow!
• Our cat died from fatty liver syndrome on July 29, 2009. She was still quite young and we miss her very much. I still get teary eyed thinking about her.
• We have a new puppy. She's a Chihuahua and is still working on potty training. She loves to chew everything, including my dress shoes. But we still love her.
• My sister had another baby boy!
• Life is crazy and hectic, but I don't think I would give up anything we are doing just to have a "normal" life.
• Fall, winter, spring, and now summer have come to past. Hopefully summer will last a little longer. I feel like I missed most of it.
• I am still working to be the woman God wants me to be. I'm not perfect, yet, so please forgive me as I stumble and fall. And perhaps you could help me up, too.
• We may be moving to a new home within the area.

Guess that about sums it all up. I've had to make a hundred decisions about what to do with the little time I have, whether to be with my side of the family or my husband's, whether to talk to one congregant or another, whether to stay home or visit another church when we don't have service, and so many other things, like whether to talk or just be quiet.

Thoughts from a Recent Church Service

We went to some special services this week. I probably didn't go for all the right reasons, but I went, hoping something good might come out of it. And I do hope some things are made right in the churches. I do hope there really is a revival - a true revival, not merely strong emotional experiences, but something that has real depth and brings change where it is needed

My walk with God started when I was very young and was based on Scripture and the work of God in my life. Contrary to other's opinions, it is not easily given up. The Word of God has been ingrained into the very fiber of my being. I plunged into worship as soon as I learned to read the words of the songs. I plunged into Scripture as soon as I got my first Bible. I do not remember a time when my heart was not fully given to God. Everything I do is a result of God. Every decision I make is based on the Word of God and what I feel God is leading me to do. I do not take my Christianity lightly. I don't always make the right decisions, but I never give up my faith. I am not backslidden, contrary to popular opinion. I did not cut my hair and start wearing pants. Funny how nobody said, "She's in sin. Look at her showing all that hatred toward people. See how she's acting - she isn't showing the love of Christ to those people. Can you believe how she started spreading all that gossip just as soon as she left church?" No, it wasn't sins of the heart - it was hair and clothes. I find that disgusting. My salvation and my faith are not based on men or women, pastors, ministers, leaders, saints, or anyone. My salvation is based on faith in God and the efficacy of Christ's work on the cross. "For ye are saved by grace through faith, and that not of yourselves, lest any many should boast."

Clarification

Just wanted to enter a short post stating that I am not against any organization or church. I love the church my husband and I are a part of. I think every church has assets and liabilities. I also think it is dishonorable to God when we are proud of ourselves for believing certain doctrine and ignore God and the rest of His truth. Pride in baptism while ignoring "love is of God and he who does not love does not know God" or "that they all might be one" is not something to be proud about. And it certainly isn't going to get you to heaven.

Parenting

My husband's sons are with us this weekend. I absolutely adore my step-sons. They are my pride and joy!

So, to dig a little deeper into the religion subject, what do parents do to help or hurt their children and society as a whole? In a general sense, parenting could be considered a combination of love and discipline - and I don't mean punishment.

I see my husband torn because he can't be a full-time daddy. Divorce does that to a family. This creates a whole different spin on love and discipline. I have seen the difficulty Joe has trying to be a loving father every day, while only seeing his kids every other weekend and a few hours a day during the week. Then when he has to try to train them in matters of behavior, which sometimes includes punishment, but he has limited time to show them how much he loves them, he feels guilty because they are not happy when they are disciplined.


Some things parents can do to help children:

- say, "I love you"
- give hugs and kisses
- give gifts
- tell them how proud you are of them
- help them with a difficult task
- train and require listening skills
- train and require following directions
- help with social skills
- help overcoming fears
- consistency in all things, including choice of disciplinary technique
- teaching about healthy eating and exercise

Some things parents can do to harm children:

- any type of abuse
- inconsistency
- degrading comments
- yelling
- refusal to touch
- getting drunk/high in front of them
- smoking in the house/room
- not dealing with your own emotional problems
- mind games - guilt manipulation, bad kid/good kid
- blaming
- not feeding healthy meals and snacks on a regular basis

Parents have the opportunity of a lifetime to help the next generation succeed and be prosperous in all areas. I have seen some take this opportunity as something precious and important. Their children often become leaders and truly intelligent adults who can make good decisions and fix bad decisions and can be another set of good parents for the generation after them. I have seen others take this opportunity for granted or see it is a curse. Their children often become followers of whatever makes them feel good because their parents did not leave them with the skills and emotional independence they needed to become prosperous and good citizens/leaders. Not everyone follows this generality. Not everyone is meant to be a leader. Not everyone has the same IQ or ability to make decisions. But everyone has the opportunity to do their best where ever they are. Parents can help their children become their best.

How NOT to treat people who leave a church

Today my husband was at WalMart with his two boys. This store has always been a place to meet and greet due to the large number of customers. It's also a place for people to show their lack of wisdom and good judgment.

My husband and I left a church for many reasons, the most important of which was our desire to be at a church where the entire family could experience spiritual growth. It is difficult to grow in a place where you get beaten down and pushed aside. Others have commented on the type of people who go to places where they are abused, whether physically, psychologically, or spiritually. I have noticed this as well. Often, people who have been abused before follow leaders who are abusive or controlling. Several words come to mind, such as tyrant and dictator. It is not much different in a spiritual or religious setting. Some churches that have almost all women and no men are "pastored" by controlling, insecure men. The Biblical sense of the word "pastor" actually has to do with leading sheep to pasture, not herding cattle or whipping horses. I have no intentions of remaining in this type of place with this type of leadership and this type of congregation. So we left--rather quickly.

Since then we have been treated rather poorly by a congregation similar to this. We are frequently told that we are backslidden, going to Hell, lost, need to be saved, jumped the ship, sinners, have no hope of salvation because we have blasphemed the Holy Spirit by going to an independent church outside of a certain organization, and the list goes on. The worst of it was losing our friends.

At WalMart, my husband's sons witnessed this as their father was degraded by the Head Usher, a Sunday School teacher, and a good friend. It is absolutely horrid that these people showed such lack of concern, not only for my husband and I, but for those impressionable boys. "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it" is a proverb from the Bible. This is true both for the good things and the bad things. Children are trained in social skills as well as math skills. These two children were being taught that it is okay to tell people they're going to Hell, treat them with disdain, and say hurtful comments.

These things affect society negatively. Children grow up into hate-filled adults who have a great deal of disrespect for leaders and and even friends. Those who are the brunt of others' nastiness become bitter and treat others the same way. This is not an example of pure and undefiled religion. This is an example of hypocrisy and defilement. The Bible says that one abomination is sowing discord among the brethren (Proverbs). Are the brethren only those who attend service in one specific organization or even one church building? Of course not! The brethren, at the time of Proverbs, were the probably the Jews who served God. To put it into our context today, it would be Christians. Technically, this verse applies to society as a whole. Causing arguments and fights among people is abominable. Society is disrupted and cannot function at its best. So, for those people in the other church who are sowing discord among the brethren by saying other brethren are not saved and treating them with digust and disdain, they are hypocrites. Many people say that if something is an abomination to God, and you do it, you are in danger of missing out on eternity with God. Can someone boast of their salvation while their hearts and tongues show otherwise?

I guess that's enough venting for one blog. But for those who read it, consider how you are treating other people who have left your church. Does it show pure and undefiled religion or hypocrisy?

By the way, we all love our new church and have maintained our belief system - which is another discussion on foundations.

Blog Title

James 1:27 (KJV)
Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

I guess a good way to begin this blog is by mentioning where the title came from. This verse from the Holy Bible is particularly meaningful to me. There was a time in my life when I was "fatherless" and there were people who "visited" me in my affliction. They didn't just come greet me; they helped me in ways that I needed as the result of not having a father there. Daddys are important. When a little girl goes without her daddy, or when a little boy goes without his daddy, the child is missing out on so much. Dads are there to protect his children, help them develop confidence and self-identity, be their example in issues of family, society, and religious upbringing, and show how moms and dads should treat each other. I'm sure there are many more things dads are good at, too, but that is a list that just came to mind.

My Grammie is a widow. There are farmers who give her various food items, some free and some at a discounted price. There are people in the church who take her to doctors' appointments and out visiting friends. There are people who give her and other widows grocery money for Christmas. Somebody mows her lawn. A couple guys she hires for carpentry work do a great job and treat her kindly. All these people are visiting my grandmother in her affliction. I wish I were there for her more.

To keep oneself unspotted from the world may be more difficult to define. But I suppose that would include ethics and morals. No lying, cheating, stealing, murdering, hating, self-centered attitudes, and such. What about jobs or how you look? Shouldn't those things matter, too? Yes, the Bible says that God looks on the heart, but it doesn't say that God only looks on the heart. He can see the outside, too. He is all-knowing, omniscient. If He knows when someone stole from the grocery store, He knows when you're wearing clothes that make you "spotted" by the world. I may not be able to define that accurately, but I think that all people who claim to be religious ought to take a look at every part of their lives, not just sections here and there. Doing one good thing doesn't make up for the bad things, just like one bad thing doesn't take away from the good things.

These are the kinds of qualities I look for in people to decide whether or not I want to be good friends with them. I want to be this kind of person, so I need to be with this kind of person. Do I expect perfection? Of course not! I understand that we are but dust and God is so much more than I could comprehend. I also know that is not an excuse for not trying at all or just putting in a half-hearted attempt.

Who do I expect to have and show this pure and undefiled religion? Anyone who claims to be a Christian, especially those who claim to be leaders of Christians in some way. The blind lead the blind and they all fall in the ditch. The same goes for character qualities. Thieves lead thieves and they all steal. Liars lead liars and none of them tell the truth. Do not follow those who will lead you astray. That is foolishness! Who would climb Mount Everest with someone who didn't know the paths? Then why do we follow men and women who don't follow or know the Word of God? God doesn't just put you in Heaven because you followed someone to Hell.

We all need to be more careful about how we live our lives everyday.

The Beginning

Observation and experience, along with second-hand information, have shown me the importance of strong values, continuous learning, willingness to admit failure, and expectance to change. This is true for all people in all cultures. I could try to make a persuasion with philosophy and valid arguments; I am almost certain this is possible. For now, however, I will make my persuasion mostly with observation. I will give examples of events that show what happens with and without the aforementioned qualities. Some, perhaps many, will come from my experiences. Others will be from friends, family, or even the news. The validity of all observations can be questioned as they are subjective. My hope is that all who read this blog will find something they can learn from and change in their lives, including me.